A wailing sound of
the baby brought relief to Neeraj which was followed by the nurse’s voice
“Congratulations Sir, it’s a boy”. He immediately had a look at the baby and
confirming that Samiksha was ok, he went across to spread the news to his
mother, who being an orthodox old woman was at the temple.
Neeraj’s life was
a typical Bollywood movie so far. He had met his wife Samiksha, 18 months ago
at a party. The chemistry gelled well and like in movies their love faced
problems from all social corners. And like in the movies, they got married
nonetheless after a short courtship. A small “yes” to a question from Neeraj
was to be the main reason of discontent post marriage. The Question “We are a
closely knit orthodox family and you have to live with them”. She was the girl
of the emerging India .Being career oriented, bold, self-dependent and not to
take orders from anyone everyday had a war of words post marriage.
“Girl, now that
you are married do think of a child now. You are getting older and we too” said
her mother in law. “Don’t even have time to think of that” said Samiksha.
“Girl, it is not
correct for a married girl to stay out so late”. A response came instantly “I was
at office and if Neeraj can work late, so can I .I don’t see the difference for
a lady”
Very quickly, this
was a daily affair and the strain on the marriage was visible .Neeraj was never
able to take sides as both were equally important for him.
"The name is Nishchay", announced
the happy parents to the gathered guests during the naming ceremony .Nishchay
was deep asleep in the cradle.Samiksha lifted the little one in her arms for a
family photo of the 3. The arrival of Nishchay heralded a change in life for
the family. There was only one focal point of discussion “Nishchay” for
everyone.
The events leading
to the pregnancy also had a touch of Bollywood drama. With the daily strains
continuing, her mother in law suffered a minor heart attack which forced
Samiksha to take a few days off. She was about to join office when Neeraj asked
her to take some more days off or better still take a sabbatical. Something
strung Samiksha more the way Neeraj put this across and she retorted “if you
were looking for a nurse, a marriage was not needed”. This was the last
conversation between them for days. An office party forced Neeraj to take her
with him to the party. A car breakdown in middle of nowhere on that night gave
a chance for them to come back on talking terms. It gave a chance to ignite
their passions. All the knowledge and precautions on protection went for a toss
and voila!!! She got Pregnant.
Pregnancy brought
with it a role reversal of sorts. Samiksha’s mother in law became the
caretaker. The attention shifted to Samiksha’s well being. She too began to
enjoy the pampering and all the attention. Life turned for the better and the
most relieved person was Neeraj. After a long time, he looked forward to return
home from office.
The arrival of Nishchay
also marked the beginning of the extended Maternity leave. Samiksha spent all
her time looking after Nishchay not that it was her choice but motherhood
demanded that.
After a couple of months,
the hectic schedule of feeding, cleaning and diaper changing reduced a bit,
leading to the career thoughts coming again. Till now the mother in her was too
overwhelming and possessive to even think of passing on the caretaking to
someone else. With career thoughts becoming overpowering, she discussed the
same with the family leading to outright rejection by her mother in law and
polite rejection by Neeraj. The strains started showing again which went on
till Nischay’s first birthday which due to social compulsions was celebrated
with much pomp and Gaiety.
The office soon
reached out to Samiksha with an offer she would be willing to jump at. “Would
you be joining back anytime soon? We are looking for someone for the role as
project lead at London. Wanted to check with you” They even offered a fly back
every month with a week of working from home, hearing which Samiksha made the
decision instantly. Suddenly, her son came second in her list of priorities.
After a barrage of arguments, it was finally decided that she would move to
London alone and utilize the fly back.
London brought
with it a feeling of euphoria. She felt that finally she had achieved
something. Initial days were filled with a sense of fulfillment and family
thoughts came during the short calls at night. Neeraj back home tried his best
to care of Nischay. Slowly the burnt out wick carrying the flame of marriage
was close to going kaput.Flyback for Samiksha meant relaxation time and
catching up with friends. Nischay was a companion with her and not more than
that.
A couple more fly
backs and life at London got into a routine. The initial euphoria faded, she
started feeling lonely more so since work life became very normal and she had
lot of time after work. Occasional acquaintances could not spend more than a
couple of hours with her. Weekends meant lonely walks and trips to the numerous
Museums. This was followed by occasional thoughts of life back home and she
looked forward to visit India. The phone calls started getting longer and since
her son started speaking, she enjoyed the baby talk. To lessen the
psychological effects, as if by destiny the project was short closed due to
financial reasons and she was asked to travel back. Joy knew no bounds and the
first thing she did was to shop till she dropped.
Samiksha landed at
the Bengaluru International Airport in the wee hours. Neeraj was there to
receive her. She was so happy to see him, but recent arguments meant that the
Bollywood style reunion was given a miss. At home, she hurriedly went to see
Nishchay who was asleep. She waited for him to wake up. The lad was a bundle of
energy which was evident when he woke up and was all over his mother. However,
due to the long span of staying aloof physically and emotionally, her son was
more attached to his grandmother. When he cried, she could not console him and
this was the task of his grandmother. For Nishchay, she was nothing more than a
friend at play. He refused to sleep with her as he was used to sleeping with
his grandmother.
In the bedroom, silence loomed most of the time.
She felt lonely though Neeraj slept next to her. She wanted to break the ice
but was not successful. Strangely, she felt a stranger in what was supposed to
be her own home. Neeraj was cross with her for the single minded decisions of
the past. Her mother in law had been used to “talking on need basis” since a
long time. A few nights later, Samiksha confronted Neeraj and said “This cannot
go on forever. Why don’t you empty your feelings and we can start over?”
Although Neeraj
wanted to do exactly this, his frame of mind was that of anger. He accused her
of leaving the little one and avoiding all motherly duties when it was needed the
most. Though his mother and the Nanny took care of him, that could never
replace the mother-son relation. “My mother and rightly so didn’t want the Nanny
to look after him throughout the day, and hence she is with him whenever time
and health permits. Old age doesn’t allow her to manage everything. It pains her
and again rightly so to see her grandson getting negligible time from his
mother.”
Frankly, Neeraj
missed being with Samiksha like the old times which seemed eons ago. Feelings
were reciprocated at Samiksha’s end too. Neeraj was not against women
liberation or anything of that sort. But being torn between son, wife and
mother the balancing act stared right at him making logical decisions tough.
Probably the way in which Samiksha had taken the decisions was the cause of
acrimony rather than the decisions per say.On the other hand, having been
through the highs and lows, Samiksha too was at the juncture of emotional
confusion. The discussion reached the point on why Samiksha had said yes to the
Question. This broke a string in Samiksha’s brain and reaction was that of
shock. She had doubts if he was the same guy who loved her to due to her
ambitious nature and now he was blaming her for everything. She was too stunned
to react and just walked out of the room. She was a firm believer that a woman
in this modern world need not succumb to her family duties. She had all the
rights to chase her dreams and become a successful person. At any cost, she
would not sacrifice her career and sit at home.
Instantly another
string broke but this time in Neerajs brain. He felt guilty for hurting her and
immediately due to the remorse, went to Samiksha to explain that the outburst
was more due to frustration and emotional turmoil and did not mean how it came out.
He assured her, that he still loved her and did not mind the pursuit of career
needs. The request was however to see that there is a way out so that the
family and career needs are both taken care of. Nischay was not close to her
more due to this reason only rather than “Son not liking mother”!
For a change she could very well understand
what Neeraj was speaking as she was in the same boat. She understood the
situation faced by innumerable women in urban India which basically boiled down
to one question “how to balance and effectively play roles of daughter-in-law,
Mother, wife and still have a career”. With no words exchanged she just gave a
bear hug to Neeraj and slipped into bed. Sleep was blissful that night.
In a few Days,
Nischay was now more comfortable with his mother. She did all that she could to
win his love. Neeraj and his mother felt relieved to the see the mom-son duo
bond so well. During this phase of introspection, Samiksha noticed a company in
the neighborhood looking to fill openings which was perfectly fitting into her skillset.
This time around, she discussed the entire situation at dinner table. The
company had a crèche facility which was again perfect. The distance was not too
much to ensure she would have ample family time.
A few months
later, at a family event Samiksha was with Nischay when she overheard “My
daughter in law is straight from the Hindi movies where the heroine is
flawless!! And I thought such characters were only in movies”
